Personality

You are unique because your personality is a combination of all the people you have known.

We all have known different people in our lifetimes, and we absorb a little bit of them, whether we like it or not. It probably has something to do with the way we learn about the world. For many skills, we watch and then we try to repeat what we saw. In the same way, we notice what someone does, or what they say, and we absorb it for later use. Later we may try it and if it works, we will make it part of our personality. If it doesn’t work, we might revise it or we might eliminate it.

Children are often like their parents because parents are often the most influential adults that children are around. But many kids are influenced by many of the other people that they meet. Real people are probably the most likely to affect kids, but movies, TV, and characters in books can also add to a person’s personality. 

For most of us, we need to identify with a person or character before we try to take on any of their traits. That means that boys identify with other boys that are the same age, but don’t identify with girls that are the same age. The more traits that the boys have in common (age, ethnic background, class, dress, etc.), the stronger they identify with those people, and the more likely they will try to assimilate their traits (see How We Learn?). In this way, kids that hang around each other start to act similarly, because they take on each other’s traits. This helps to fulfill their need for affiliation (see Human Needs).

You are unique because your personality is a combination of all the people YOU have known. Nobody else could have possibly met all the same people as you, unless they were always with you, like Siamese twins, and even they have different personalities. That is because people think that some traits are better than others. Movie stars and professional athletes are often admired and we think that it would be great to be them. When we think that, we are placing more value on the qualities that they possess. That is like viewing the world with blinders on (see Seeing). Their admirable qualities get magnified, and your admirable qualities get ignored. If that is how you choose to view the world, you are bound to feel inferior. Remember that fame is like a shooting star, bright for a short time and then it is just a memory. 

You are unique because your personality is a combination of all the people you have known. There isn’t some magic formula for deciding whose uniqueness is better. Consequently, just be content in the fact that you are unique, and your personality is evolving with every person you meet and every book you read.