Rationalization

A rationalization is a lie that we tell ourselves, in order to relieve any guilt.

Whenever we do something that is “wrong”, our conscious might plague us with feelings of guilt. If we want to avoid any guilt feelings, we rationalize a justification for our actions. 

The standard rationalizations are: I had to protect myself; If I didn’t do it, somebody else would have; They brought it on themselves; It’s not my fault; I didn’t see them; He hit me first; Everybody is doing it; Nobody will know. 

Children frequently use many of these rationalizations. Parents should not excuse children when they use rationalizations or they will continue that habit (see How We Learn). It is much more shocking that adults in positions of authority (presidents, CEOs, politicians, police, people in the military, etc.) use variations of the same rationalizations. Possibly, lawyers use rationalizations as a standard defense in jury trials. For the same reason as with children, we must not excuse people when they rationalize.

There is a line in the movie, “The Big Chill,” which is, “What’s more important, sex or rationalization? Rationalization. Have you ever gone a week without a rationalization?” The problem is that rationalizing occurs so automatically, that we don’t even realize it. I know that every time I drive through an intersection when the light is changing, I go through a series of mental questions, which might conclude with a rationalization. 

When children rationalize, they largely do it to avoid punishment (see Fear). Some of the time, adults also rationalize to avoid punishment, but most of the time it is to have a clear conscience. The problem is that we are lying to ourselves, and then we are accepting the lie. Probably, adults accept rationalizations by others, because internally they have used the same excuses themselves. By accepting others rationalizations, they are also excusing their own. This is a terrible habit to acquire, because it is basically “Excusing something with a lie, to avoid telling/confronting the real truth/reasons.” In order to live intelligently, you must do your best to live honestly/truthfully, with as little rationalization as possible.

A rationalization is a lie that we tell ourselves.